Love Addiction
What is “Love Addiction?”
Love addiction, as described by Pia Mellody in her book "Facing Love Addiction," is a behavioral condition which includes an overwhelming need for romantic relationships that can overshadow other aspects of a person’s life. Individuals who struggle with love addiction often seek validation and self-worth through their relationships (excessively), leading to patterns of dependency and obsession.
What are key characteristics of love addiction?
Some of the key characteristics of love addiction are high pre-occupation which leads to obsessive thinking about a partner or the idea of being in love/relationship; dependency on another person to prove one’s worth; a consistent feeling of unworthiness or not feeling "complete" without a partner; intense emotional highs and lows throughout the relationship; fear of abandonment; and neglect of one’s personal interests, friendships, or responsibilities in favor of maintaining or pursuing romantic relationship(s) which leads to a diminished quality of life outside of one’s relationship.
Is there a fuller list of the characteristics?
Yes. We have put together a fuller list of the key characteristic traits for your convenience. You may view this list by scrolling down this page.
As you are reviewing the characteristics, we encourage you to reflect on your personal experiences and remember that treatment for this condition is available. We can help you develop a healthier relationship with yourself and others.
What are the causes of love addiction?
Love addiction often stems from the following factors: unresolved childhood trauma; dysfunctional family dynamics; low self-esteem; not receiving core emotional needs; a lack of understanding or practice in setting healthy boundaries; and emotional immaturity which can lead to unrealistic expectations and dependency on romantic partners for emotional stability.
What does healing from this look like?
Healing from love addiction can look different for different people depending on each individual's unique circumstances, life experiences, needs. In a generalized sense, healing can include a sense of stability; feeling secure (and not panicked) when your partner doesn't respond to your text; communicating your needs without worry of abandonment; not viewing your partner as the solution to your problems but as the person who you can count on for support; maintaining your independence and personal identity; enjoying the "we" in the relationship but not at the detriment of the "me."
What are the treatment modalities?
Our therapeutic approach has been greatly influenced by the work of Pia Mellody - a prominent figure in the field of trauma and addiction recovery.
The treatment model focuses on helping you become a functional adult. We would focus on processing unresolved childhood traumas, deepening self-awareness, developing self-esteem, stop destructive relationship dynamics, and learning how to set boundaries, among other tasks.
We provide a variety of clinical services to meet your needs.
Find out what they are and how they can help you by clicking on the button below.
Characteristics of Love Addiction
Compulsive Pursuit of Relationships: Constantly seeking out romantic relationships, often ignoring signals or at the expense of one’s well-being.
Intense Obsession: Preoccupation with thoughts about a partner or potential partner, making it difficult to focus on other aspects of life.
Fear of Abandonment: An overwhelming fear of being alone or rejected, leading to clingy or anxious behaviors.
Idealization of Partners: Placing partners on a pedestal, ignoring their flaws and minimizing potential red flags.
Neglecting Personal Needs: Sacrificing personal interests, hobbies, or friendships to maintain or pursue a romantic relationship.
Jealousy and Possessiveness: Experiencing intense jealousy and feeling possessive over partners, often leading to controlling behaviors.
Cycle of Highs and Lows: Experiencing emotional highs and lows throughout the course of the relationship; like you’re on a rollercoaster.
Difficulty Ending Toxic Relationships: Struggling to leave unhealthy or abusive relationships despite recognizing the harm they cause.
Emotional Dependency: Relying heavily on a partner for self-esteem, validation, and emotional support.
Chronic Relationship Cycle: Repeatedly entering into the same unhealthy relationship dynamics with different partners.
Restlessness Over Stability: Feeling bored or anxious in stable, healthy relationships and seeking drama or intensity instead.
Lying or Hiding Relationships: Concealing the truth about relationships or feelings from friends and family.
Engaging in Risky Behaviors: Participating in reckless behaviors, any behaviors that go against your instincts, in the name of love.
Diminished Self-Worth: Feeling inadequate or unlovable outside of romantic relationships.
Rushing into Relationships: Moving too quickly in relationships, often before truly getting to know a partner.
Ignoring Personal Boundaries: Overstepping or ignoring personal or partner boundaries, all for the sake of the relationship staying in tact.
Manipulative Behaviors: Using guilt, fear, or obligation to maintain a relationship or keep a partner close.
Discomfort with Loneliness: Feeling extreme discomfort or anxiety when alone, leading to a desperate search for connection.
Romanticizing Unhealthy Relationships: Viewing past toxic relationships through a rose-colored lens, often longing for the highs despite the pain.
Feeling Incomplete Without a Partner: Believing that one cannot be happy or fulfilled without being in a romantic relationship.
You have an important story to tell. We are ready and willing to hear it.
Your unique life circumstances have led you to this website. Your instincts are telling you it’s time to get help. Don’t hesitate any longer. Give yourself the gift of quality psychotherapy and begin your journey of recovery today.